Laurie Anderson 1986 Tour

So here we go, Virgin records bought into Sal’s concert merchandising business model and I was set to take one of the many bands in their stable around the world. To this day I scratch my head why they chose performance artist Laurie Anderson as their first act to merchandise world wide, but they did.

Those first six shows in the USA set the table for merchandise sales which were beyond horrible. Laurie Anderson is super talented, but her artsy audience sure as hell wasn’t a t-shirt buying crowd.

I remember telling myself while flying to Australia to start that leg of the tour, no matter what, I should enjoy myself every way possible and not study that the gig was a total loss for Virgin. I was a hired gun and that weight wasn’t my cross to bear.

On a happy note, the third night in Sydney, Australia at the Dire Straits concert I reached the apex of all I’d strived for. I was in a foreign land being paid a large sum of money doing my rock and roll job. I’d met a lady friend and I was stoned. The beautiful thing was my journey had only just begun.

I know to some, it might not seem so spectacular a goal to attain. But to me, it was all I’d dreamt about while sitting in the back seat of that Cadillac in 1980 while on The Police Tour.

My friends,  that six week Laurie Anderson tour allowed me to experience so many precious moments that to this day it still brings a smile to my face. Laurie was incredibly kind and generous and included the band and crew in many of the wonderful opportunities afforded her while traveling through New Zealand, Australia and Japan. Truly, I can’t thank her enough!

  During my entire odyssey it wasn’t easy making things I believed in manifest, but nothing is. I navigated my way with no instructions on how to get from here to there. All the techniques I’ve talked about in my book, at the time, didn’t have names and labels. That came to me much later in life. All I knew was the trick to succeeding was simple; first you have to have self belief and no self doubt, then set a goal or affirmation, have faith it will manifest and persevere until it does. To this day, that formula for the most part has not let me down.

Meanwhile on the tour, I honestly wasn’t surprised when Sal told me in one of our many phone conversations that the European leg of the tour was going to be handled by Kip. He was running the Virgin office in London, England and it would help keep the overhead down. Like I said the tour was a concert merchandising disaster and the amount of money wasted was ungodly. It must have made Virgin bean counters sick to their stomachs crunching those dismal numbers of their new business venture.

I knew my fate in Sal’s hands was questionable and my time on the road was running out. So, on that long jet flight from Japan back to LA I told myself leave the game a WINNER and don’t look back. I’d waited five and a half years for my affirmation to manifest and had received what I’d asked for. I was ready for a change in direction and to my amazement I kicked my addiction to road fever.

In closing, a word to the wise, never give up on yourself or your goals. Because if I can do it, so can you!

I’d like to thank all you bloggers who have taken the time to follow my blog about my book, Rock My World, which is available on Kindle/Amazon, Sony/Reader, Barnes& Noble/ Nook and Apple/I Books. If you liked my blogs I think you’d love the book.

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MOTLEY CRUE 1985 TOUR

At the first Motley Crue concert in Erie, PA, Wonder and I were accepted as part of the gang by Motley’s lead merchandiser, Big.  This bit of good karma all stemmed from the positive relationship I’d had with Cliff who was the crew chief I dealt with on the 1984 Aerosmith tour. By fate, he too worked for the same company as Big. They conversed on the first day of the tour and since Cliff had nothing but positive things to say about me, Big treated us like gold. Usually opening act merchandisers were treated like pure shit which I had learned first hand while on the 1982 U2 tour opening for the J Geils Band. But,like I just said, we fit right in for the four and a half months on the road with Motley. RJ’s company had two bands slated separately to be the support act for the duration and I was given the gig of a lifetime! The bands were a Japanese heavy metal band named Loudness and the other was Autograph.

Gang, since 1981 I’d toured with some of the greatest rock bands of the eighties, and for the most part had all kinds of over the top fun. But, this Motley tour was the tour of tours and I knew I was in the right spot at the right time. So I embraced it every possible way and went about my daily routine in maximum overdrive. That Motley gig was truly the pinnacle of my touring days throughout the USA & Canada.

Fuckin’ A, I never saw so many smoking hot groupies on any single tour like that one. Straight up, girls were throwing themselves at you city after city. Hell, the Elephant Man could have scored if he’d been wearing a laminate and holding an after show double smile face pass. It really was big time insane, beyond my wildest dreams and I loved every minute of it.

During the entire tour, I kept thinking when this year ends I’m going around the world doing concert merchandise and my affirmation was indeed going to manifest. All I knew was the three words Affirmation, Faith and Perseverance really worked and I had never felt so blessed to understand the formula of attainment that I genuflected in thanks!

My only negative situation was finding the right time to tell RJ I was leaving his company which I detailed in my book. To my surprise, Karma as a last challenge threw me some high hard fast stuff. The new tour manager of Autograph wanted me fired immediately and that was fun to deal with. Other than that, I was living out my rock and roll odyssey in style!

I know Wonder also had many wild times on Motley. He met these two sisters who bragged one was better than the other and they both wanted after show passes. So, I gave Wonder my pass and I’ll never forget the shit eating grin plastered on his face, it was priceless. He bartered with both of them and everyone walked away happy. Wonder was my road brother and while he was alive I’m glad we shared time on earth as a team.

Over the years many friends have asked me what was the wildest crazy thing, groupie wise, I saw or experienced. So, to give you an idea I’m going to tell you one story. At the Omni arena in Atlanta, GA, this crew slut took on as many of the road crew who were willing. She had a score to settle with some scooter tramp that had broken her record and she was looking to regain her crown. Willingly, she went about her business and enjoyed it.

Unbeknownst to her, the back of the bus had a video camera in it and everyone in the front lounge was watching on a monitor and applauding wildly while she was doing her thing. She kept asking each new face why everyone was laughing and that person would say “I don’t know” She just kept doing her thing and achieved her goal. That tour ratchet to a level of SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK & ROLL I’d never seen before. City after city people were out of their fucking minds on the energy of the concert event and so was I!

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REM 1985 TOUR

Until the 1985 REM Tour, my favorite gig was the 1984 Fixx tour. That changed while both Donnie and I rode on one of the two REM crew buses handling merchandise sales. This was a tour I’d pushed RJ into letting me take, and I was really excited about doing it. I’d been a big fan of the band and REM was the largest tour we had. Gig wise, REM and crew were of the same fabric as the Fixx. Day in and day out, REM made being on the road a pleasure! Two major differences between the tours were that REM’s new record was a hit and so were their merchandise sales. The groove of the tour was a fast pace. We’d do three or four shows in a row and the merchandise sales kept ratcheting higher and higher. That gig was a winner for all involved. The first leg of the tour we played a string of shows on the west coast and down south. This time around while riding on the bus it was the right combination of people to be surrounded by 24/7, which can sometimes be tricky! Night after night we drank, smoked and slept in comfort while traveling across country.

Another difference worth mentioning about the two tours was there were no women hanging out with band members. As curious as I was, I never questioned why. Years later I found out why, but, in 1985 Michael Stipe’s façade as a straight front man was bullet proof and not a word was ever mentioned that he was gay. A lot of the crew were friends of the band and if they knew about Michael, their mouths were wired shut. The few times I was around him I didn’t get the vibe he was gay. I found him to be nothing but upbeat and friendly. Management successfully kept that bit of personal info about Michael under lock and key and wasn’t looking to fuck with the up draft momentum the band was experiencing. So, it was a stag tour of sorts for chicks and really no big deal, just different. Every chance I could, I called a lady friend who lived in a city we played and invited her to come and enjoy the show. Most concerts were in four or five thousand seat venues and sold out. A lot of these places I’d played on previous tours and knew what to expect.

 I was thrilled to work with Donnie; unbeknownst to him, he was very instrumental in my quest of attaining my goal and never knew how important he was to me. I’ll always be grateful for meeting him while on the 1982 Police tour. Donnie and I looked at life through the same set of priorities and I know he too enjoyed himself everyway possible while on the road. During that REM tour I told myself it doesn’t get any better than this as far as concert merchandising goes. As I mentioned, riding on the bus and not having to drive show after show was sweet. Being paid extra money to vend nightly, extra sweet! I was making a fat mattress salary and traveling with a band I dug. My friends, I was as high as a kite on life and loving every minute of it.

So, as I mentioned in my book, when Donnie and I were abruptly yanked off the tour and sent in separate directions I was bumming big time. All I kept thinking was this was another round of karma fucking with me. But, to my pleasant surprise karma did me a solid gold favor. I was going to be spending the remainder of 1985 doing merchandising for two different acts slated at separate times to be the support band on the upcoming Motley Crue Theater of Pain tour. That Motley tour, turned out to be an orgy of the things that make touring magical, and I was never so ready for the challenge of partying my ass off!

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AUTOGRAPH 1985 TOUR

The winter of 1985 I spent dry docked working in RJ’s office and living at his lakefront house. The house, situated on picturesque Lake Minnetonka was KILLER!  It was a beautiful place to live and allowed me a tranquil environment where I could think things out. Work wise, I quickly learned that I could easily adapt to working and running a business office, only not for someone else! I knew on the front end from past employers, office personnel make dick for pay and in my eyes this office job was going to be short lived.

All those negative thoughts I’d dealt with in 1984 about time issues kept trying to resurface and that was real fun! Worst of all, my road fever was starting to make me itch for a fix. I thanked god when I received Kip’s second phone call while on the up coming 1985 Autograph tour. That conversation finally smothered to death my situation about future time frame issues.

When spring arrived my lust for the road had me packed and ready to roll. The six weeks I spent working and traveling with the hair metal band I just mentioned named Autograph turned out to be a really good time for all. The band, crew and I traveled together on a single tour bus for the duration. That situation had its good points and bad. Good in the sense of traveling with the band and riding on the bus was big time fun. The bad part was being stuck night after night playing nothing but dive clubs.

Doing a club tour as a concert merchandiser is no doubt the bottom rung on the ladder and builds character, like it or not!

During the tour we pretty much lived on the bus and really didn’t stay at many hotels. All facets of touring were in excess while traveling directly with the band. The partying and the bartering were insane. Hair metal groupies were everywhere and total eye candy to look at. Being with the band certainly had its extra perks! The merchandise sales were horrible and RJ’s investment smelled and looked like the same fate bestowed on Orion the Hunter.

As I said in my book, concert merchandising is a real crap shoot. Let’s say, you put up a hundred thousand dollars to secure a band’s merchandise rights, then after six consecutive weeks of touring and losing more money in pursuit of your original investment you end up a total loser. This shit is not for the weak at heart or someone who doesn’t have a deep pocket. Luckily, RJ had both the gut and cash to persevere a few of these hits and kept the company going.

So, as the tour progressed I was flying high that my affirmation of going around the world in 1986 was going manifest and couldn’t wait. From that point on I instantly recaptured my love affair with touring and felt 1985 was going to be really special. I stayed focused in the here and now, and was operating at full bore every god damn day!  

Overall Autograph was a great bunch and the crew too. Unknowingly and to my surprise, months later I was thrilled to hear Autograph was going to be the support act on the upcoming 1985 Motley Crue Theater of Pain tour and request my presence. Meanwhile, my next gig was with the band REM and set to start right after Autograph’s tour finished.

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THE FIXX 1984 TOUR

The 1984 Fixx tour turned out to be one of the favorite gigs I’d do. As far as touring goes, those three and a half months spent engaged in motion were absolutely perfect. The band and crew had no airs about them and we all jelled into one big pack of road dogs. The pacing on The Fixx tour was rapid and that’s the way I always liked it. Every week we played three or four shows in a row and usually had one day off for a far- reaching drive. After four years of hands on experience, my job was never easier. As I mentioned in my book, Wonder turned out to be gold and confirmed my belief in second chances. He was my number two favorite road brother, Eric being first, and made traveling with someone 24/7 no problem. While on tour we played tons of secondary markets all across America and I saw parts of the US so unspoiled by development it was priceless to view. Women and cash were plentiful and all I knew was I was living life to the fullest.
However, my old cosmic buddy karma threw me a curve ball about future concerns pertaining to time issues and what I was willing to endure for attainment of my ultimate goal. I also had June’s parting words before I started the Fixx tour resonating in my private thoughts. This nagging stayed with me right until Kip’s call four months later on the matter of where I fit in the scheme of their business plan. That bit of news single handedly smothered the nag in my head and I was never so happy to be back on track! During this ordeal, all the techniques I’ve talked about in my book were put to the test and hands down perseverance was the work horse of the bunch for keeping me on course.
I have to tell you, the effect that time issue had on me started making me feel anhedonic. So, I told myself during this karma mind fuck that this might be my last gig and I should have as much fun possible while doing it. I was intent on staying focused on being in the here and now verses thinking about things to come.
Looking back, naive as it sounds, I truly thought I had all the time in the world to achieve what I wanted to. Then, one day I had what seemed to be an epiphany that we as humans have very short life spans compared to the age of earth itself. This thought made me think I needed to readjust the time frames of my future goals. Because, all of the sudden in my minds eye, time seemed to be fleeting.
My friends, I found out from this episode that the trick is to enjoy life’s journey no matter what is thrown at you and to make the best of the precious time allowed to us all. Trying to fight time is foolish and one lifetime on earth is enough if done right!
Despite those nagging thoughts, The Fixx tour was a high time for all involved. The road crew loved card games just like The Pretenders crew. These lads also liked wenching, burning and drinking all night long. We stayed at the same hotel as the band and crew and partied all across America and Canada.
Unfortunately, The Fixx were forced by the record label just like Men at Work to rush their follow up record and failed to deliver. As I explained in my book, thank God their manager had the talent to keep the band out on the road for the duration. Because, unlike Men at Work none of the gigs were sold out in advance and the tour could have easily turned into a financial disaster like Orion the Hunter had been for all involved. The Fixx ran into another major problem in that the trend in rock music was shifting from new wave to hair metal bands. The Fixx was pushed to the wayside and never really recovered. The rock business has no loyalty or code and will definitely turn its back on non superstar bands in a heart beat, aren’t they kind!
At the end of that tour I was offered three choices for my next gig and took a path I never saw coming. That situation allowed me time to sort things out and still receive a pay check.

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Aerosmith 1984 Tour

For the next six weeks my gig was with the band named Orion the Hunter an off shoot of the group Boston. We were the support act on the 1984 Aerosmith reunion tour called BACK IN THE SADDLE. The treatment we received being in the support spot wasn’t like the usual; we were accepted as a part of the Aerosmith crew, which wasn’t the case when I toured with U2 in 1982 opening for the J Giels Band. To give you an idea of how like gold we were, Aerosmith gave us all access laminates to wear and total freedom to move about back stage with no issues. Which isn’t the norm on most tours. This gig was the very first time I saw a production office filled with computers and people going crazy over phone lines for modems to hook up to. Before this tour, computers were nowhere to be found on the road. I can only imagine the landscape in today’s world of devices and present day touring.

If the internet, cell phone cameras and You Tube were present in the eighties my story would have probably been visually documented, which I’m glad it’s not. Personally, I like flying under the radar and not drawing attention to myself.

Anyway, that tour gave me the time I needed to heal from the road thrashing I’d just experienced on the John Cougar tour. Plus, being the support act I had little responsibility which allowed me to reflect on things to come. RJ gave me the green light; I was going to be Donnie’s wing man on the Prince gig. It would start at the end of this tour and was set to perform well over one hundred shows. I also thought about Kip and Sal’s business plan and if they would succeed in finding it a home. Again, I was banking on those guys to help me attain my goal of going around the world doing concert merchandising. My friends, things couldn’t have been finer and I never felt so blessed to be alive. So, when I found out RJ’s company had lost the Prince gig I was blown away.

 Meanwhile, back on the tour, I had the privilege of watching night after night one the hardest working AMERICAN Rock & Roll bands play their music with skill and precision. During each performance, Tyler would introduce to the audience “On guitar, Mr. Mother fuckin Joe Perry!!!” and how right he was. The dude serves up some of the tastiest licks in rock and plays lead with the best of them.

City after city cash and chicks were plentiful. Working and traveling with the merchandisers for Aerosmith turned out to be an okay situation. Some days they busted my balls, other days they didn’t, and such is life. The only minor catch of that tour was no open drug use. The very mention of drugs was cause to fire you immediately. Keeping Tyler clean was a tough job for his handlers and for the most part they succeeded. My favorite Steven Tyler moment of the tour was at the last gig’s after show party. A lot of Aerosmith’s family members were present and enjoying the occasion. Tyler, who for a month and a half was 24/7 moody, did his best Eddie Haskell impersonation from the TV show Leave It to Beaver. I wish I had a video camera to show you the total contrast in his character; it was so Jekyll and Hyde like, that it was scary.

 Aerosmith’s manager, Tim Collins was top shelf in every way possible. Without the right management a rock band has little chance of making it to the big time. The rock business likes to eat its young and shows no mercy to weak rock & roll outfits. The casualty rate is staggering and there’s an endless supply of fresh meat for replacements. Under Tim Collins watchful eye, he single handily took Aerosmith to the top of their game and never veered to the left or right of his goal. He truly was a GREAT manager.

I was relieved to hear from the office that they had another gig set to hit the highway for three and a half months and it was mine. The band’s name was the Fixx, an English new wave act, whose last record had scored them a hit single named “One thing leads to another”. We’d be playing colleges and small theaters all across the US and Canada.

PS, HELLO TO ALL my blogger friends in Russia, South America, Ireland, UK, Germany and Canada. Thank You for following my blog. I hope you enjoy the journey it takes you on.

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John Cougar Mellencamp 1984 Tour

As we drove from Minnesota to Alabama to start the 1984 John Cougar Mellencamp tour, my focus was on what a great time merchandising this gig was going to be. I was a fan of his music which was the opposite of all the other tours I’d been on. Don’t get me wrong, I dug all the bands I worked for, but didn’t own any of their albums, Cougar I did.

As I mentioned in my book, the first night of the tour set the mood for the duration. John Cougar Mellencamp was a total dick 24/7 and a bummer to be around while not performing. I’d been on the road for a few years and knew road protocol, and this tour had none of that. It was a road crew walking on egg shells around a temperamental rock artist looking to tear someone a new ass at will. He was so nasty, that on a future tour drummer Kenny Aronoff asked John if he could sell his drum video at the merchandise stands during concerts and Cougar immediately said no. His chip on the shoulder attitude spared no one from his viciousness. The nights his wife came out to visit he seemed to be even more wicked than usual. She stopped him from bitch hunting for cute blondes which he liked very much and maybe that pissed him off.

However, as a performer John Mellencamp kicked ass and gave concert goers their money’s worth every night. His stage presence had a James Brown rhythm to it and made him electrifying to watch live. His band always fired on eight cylinders and was a lot more than just a back up band.

The audience was an older crowd and very loyal. Merchandise sold well but not great due to not having a young fan base. Though, we vended almost every night and that tour turned out to be the single best money making tour I’d do. We did thirteen shows in a row and blow was required to keep up with the six weeks of grueling nonstop motion.

This tour was a first for me. I met John Mellencamp’s mother and farther who were lovely people to be around, and I scratched my head why their little Johnny Boy was such a terror.

The fourteen foot cube van the three of us traveled in worked out well and that size van became my choice mode of transportation any chance I got. Donnie’s friend JO was the biggest poser I ever met. This jerk off bought penny loafers just like the kind John Mellencamp wore nightly on stage to fit a Cougar like image. Cool shoes on Cougar, on JO, not so cool. JO was a poser personified and I couldn’t wait to part ways with this joke. Looking back, it was a real challenge to teach someone the ropes when you didn’t like them. I remember reminding myself I was being paid a large sum of money to do a job, and like it or not I showed both of them the correct way to be a proficient concert merchandiser.

At the end of that tour I was so road weary that when the office told me my next gig was ready to roll and I’d get no down time, I gave less than a fuck. My addiction to road fever made me instantly reply no problem and the rush of chemicals in my mind instantly reenergized me to a state of pure bliss.

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